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Relationship

 We live our lives based on already existing ideas. If we live this way are we really living? Its already done, it’s not new. 

So let’s start by looking at how our relationships are structured in an already existing pattern. When you look at romantic relationship as an example, the term dating is used to describe the way in which we do engage as romantic partners. So dating means a lot of things but essentially it is a commitment to our engagement with each other. We commit to communication, to intimacy, to other more significant and superficial rules of engagement. Now having agreed to a way of behavior it is apparent that there is already a pattern in which I am behaving and having a relationship with you in this instance. Is it possible to have an absolutely fresh relationship with your partner when there are rules and ways of behavior that are predetermined? Why do I need rules of engagement?

Is it that we don’t trust each other to be there tomorrow and so I have to build in some contractual obligation to ensure and be certain? If tomorrow the person you say you love meets someone else that they want to be with you wouldn’t want that. You have put all your surety on this person and they are on a leash. We have been programmed to believe that once you decide to be with this person then you are bound. Is that freedom / love.

When someone continues to see me and continues to contact me and I do the same I know it is because we want to do that with absolute freedom we still contact each other. 


If someone comes back or stays in a relationship because of the contract then the relationship loses authenticity. 


We can be together without contracts, I know this through my own experience and you know it too through your experience. Also if find another thing that keeps your attention then my goodness that’s great for you. 


There are people hopefully that you engage with without a contract. An unwritten contract such as friend or aunt or dad is still a contract. You may contact someone for example because they are related to you and there is an unwritten rule that suggests that you remain in contact. When I call someone it’s because I want to but not because of some ridiculous pattern of imposed social behaviour. Unfortunately when many hear this they assume I am taking about isolation, absolutely the opposite I am embracing relationship and freedom within how we relate. In ordinary circumstances how we relate has no obligations.


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