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Love does not own another

Love is not selfish it does not own another. That which I own I cannot love. 

Love wants the best for the other, it does not envy. Yet we have called this love the ownership of another the jealousy over the other and we are quite serious about this and we impose it on others with all our years of attending church we impose our jealousy and ownership on another who has no dealings with our limited beliefs. 

We wish to own someone who is capable of doing some thing for us. If you can do something for me then I wish to own you. I doubt if I will wish to own you if you do nothing for me whether it is sex or money or emotional support or whatever else I wish to have for myself. Wishing all these things for myself I am lead into desperate need to own someone who can give me all these things or help me to reach these things. Help me to escape my misery my loneliness, my worry. 

Desperate to escape I hold onto another with the intense hope that they will fulfil me give me some kind of purpose but it’s never enough. 

All this leads to corruption of the relationship because when I am jealous when I own another it pushes them away they wish for freedom when I have tried to imprison them, a freedom they never needed. A freedom from me rather than the pure freedom they only want to run away from my emptiness I have such a depth of misery to be fulfilled and they cannot deal with that they become overwhelmed and look for something simple something that I used to be something new and fresh and empty. 

In the chaos of life with our ambition our careers and all the other demands of modern existence we are bound to need an escape a silence a freedom from it all but more times than not we are back to the same pattern that another person is caught in, tradition and convention marriage dating, vows, awkwardness, aggression, manipulation, boredom, jealousy. And with all these things we say it’s love well it can’t be surely it can never be. 

Love does not harm, love does not use another for anything, love is knowing that I am here but I do not belong to you, love is knowing that we will never belong to each other, love is determined to never own, determined to never be jealous, it is adamant that I am free it is concerned if at all with the end of the ego that we never hurt each other not even one moment where I could hurt you for I say I love you, if I do, and why not why not love? But it is impossible to love when I am miserable pained by my job pained by a boss when I have to behave in ways I don’t want to because I have to make money there can be no love here love has a chance when I have no conflict, no pain, no misery, no loneliness, all the other things lead to us using each other and that is not love.

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